“I am done with drama! I ask you, with complete compassion and understanding, to quit yapping in my ear about this!” The voice inside of me nods her head, smiles gently, and then belts out, If I Could…Make a Deal with God…. It’s been three days! Three days with that song rummaging around inside my head like some absent-minded chocoholic pirate who forgot where she stashed her booty.
Yes, I love the song. Yes, every time I re-watch that episode of The Vampire Diaries, I think “I should download that song. I can add it to my list of other songs that have terrorized me.” Yes, I am masochist intent on my own mental destruction. But I would have never gotten so involved with this song if I hadn’t had seen it used on “Bones”, a dramedy on Fox.
I like “Bones”. It’s based on a simple formula. A crime occurs. Then the interpersonal conflict of the two main characters is revealed, usually sexual. All suspects have some sort of personality defect or physical attribute that directly contributes to their downfall. Joe has acne, Mary is afraid of sharp things, or Tom has a webbed left foot. Crime is solved, interpersonal issue is solved, episode is forgotten. Just the way I like it.
Suddenly, “Bones” decides to do something that inspires thought and hooking a very cool song to a intriguing question. My mind grabs it like a spider monkey snatching the last banana. If I Could… Make a Deal with God…. Thank you! I appreciate your input. Yes, I hear you. Yes, you are a valuable member of my psychological makeup.
If I Could…Make a Deal with God!
Let’s just settle down here and explore this, why don’t we. I hook myself up to a heart monitor and reduce my heart rate by using my mind power to reduce the heart rate displayed on the screen. I center myself by focusing on the hammer that is pounding on my head. I levitate.
I try concentrating on another song that plagued me not long ago. I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind! If I Could…Make a Deal with God! No, no, NO! I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind! If I Could…Make a Deal with God! I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind! If I Could…Make a Deal with God!
If I could make a deal with God I would remember where I lost my mind!
Tequila! Excellent. 5 shots of tequila and I have the episode of “Bones” back on and I’m replaying the scene. Over and over. What would I do to save my schizophrenic, butter knife wielding brother from sinister FBI agents? I call all my friends to discuss ethical issues and to play them the version of the song I found on YouTube. Everyone is too busy to take my call so I rant on in my blog and post it on Crackbook for everyone to witness before passing out.
Next morning, the song is gone. YAY! Freedom! I grab my breakfast and go sit on my patio, turn my face up to the morning sun and immediately my freedom is sucked into oblivion. I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind!
