Adulting, Ideas and Musings

Power and the Little Queen

I remember they day I saw true power. True strength. And from a source I didn’t expect it from.

The Dance

I was at a Sunday dance at Ecstatic Dance Seattle. For those who don’t know, these are dances you can just go to and dance your truth. No one’s drunk and hitting on you. No one’s puking in the bathroom. You can just be yourself.

At this dance there were a bunch of 3 to 4-year-old girls running around. It’s a family friendly dance.  Usually there are maybe one or two little girls, but this time a good dozen of them were there. I have no idea where they came from.

Before the dance started, almost all of them were in a group at the side of the dance floor. But there was one little girl, by herself, sitting on the floor in the middle. Head down. Sad. Alone.

I can see the landscape in my head. The scenario plays itself out every day and not just with children. There is a sort of power being a part of a group. And sometimes it feels even more powerful when confronted with someone is not. For some people, the ability to exclude others is power.

I felt for that little girl.

The Little Queen

Then, in a move that shocked me, one of the little girls in the group broke off from the group, went to the little girl in the middle, helped her to her feet, took her by the hand, and led her to group.

To do such a thing. To risk walking away from the group like that to help someone outside the group. To be that confident in herself. I was amazed.

That little girl was not a Princess acting out like a spoiled brat. That little girl was a Little Queen.

That’s power, that’s strength.

The Princess and the Queen

It’s the fundamental difference of power between being a Princess and being a Queen.

  • For a Princess, power is gain by exclusion. For a Queen, power is demonstrated  by inclusion.
  • For a Princess, power is exercising the ability to hurt another. For a Queen, power is the wisdom to choose not to.
  • For a Princess, the focus is on the self. For a Queen, the responsibility is to all.

There are a lot of self-styled, would-be “Princesses” in this world. They often don’t realize just how much they have to learn. Others may even follow them and let them take the lead.

But if you know the difference, who would want to be a Princess when you could be a Queen?

That day, I saw a Queen in a courageous 4-year-old who took pity on an outsider. I think that when she grows up, she’s going to be an amazing woman.

I am honored to have been a witness.