Today I started a blog. This blog to be exact. It’s not the first blog I’ve ever started but it’s the first one that actually has a purpose. Usually my blogs are the neurotic rantings of my ego trying desperately to be heard. And it does get heard. I have friends who are willing to at least hit my site every so often and leave a comment or two, just to sooth the egomanical beast that lives in my brain. Sometimes they actually read it, bless their hearts.
Friendships are funny things and I’d like to keep mine. So rather than subjecting my friends to my ramblings, I decided to put them here. Although sometimes I think that my friends should give me everything I need, I also know that they, like me, have their limits. Not that I’m above ranting when no one is coming to my current show. We all have to have some standards.
The main purpose of this blog is to capture my thoughts, feelings, insights, challenges, and epiphanies during my journey on the Performer’s Path. And that’s what it is, isn’t it? It’s a path, a journey, a neverending process. A path that lures you with fantasies of success. Red carpets and cameras flashing. Living the life. And all it costs you is everything.
Of course, the fantasy is not really the reward. The fantasy is the carrot. The world holds it up and dares you to begin. Swinging it back and forth. You are falling into a deep deep sleep….at the count of 10 you’ll KNOW that you’ll be the next Brad Pitt, or Homer Simpson. Follow the carrot, muchacha and the world will fall at your feet in adulation. Yeah, and I have a cure for cancer I developed in my bathroom using a tube of toothpaste, maple syrup and a cork screw. The reward is to actually walk the path, doing the work, and paying the price. It’s a cliche’ but it’s true, it’s the journey that matters.
A huge industry exists to feed off the fantasy. There are hundreds, thousands, of books, dvds, classes, master teachers, and software packages designed to help you follow that decomposing carrot in an way that is “easy, efficient, and guaranteed.” Not that many of these aren’t helpful. They are! They teach us our craft. They show us how the industry operates. But following the rules and doing things “right” won’t get it done. The carrot is just too appealing. Drizzled with brown sugar and marshmallows and baked to perfection…oh wait, that’s sweet potatos…. There are too many people are going for the same carrot.
But remember, the carrot is not the reward. The reward is the path itself. It’s going beyond the rules and carving out your place in the aromatic, delicious, roasted turkey of this path. The path is a feast, and that slowly rotting carrot won’t help you get to dessert.
Ok, so I’m hungry. And it’s too damn hot to actually cook anything let alone a turkey. A heat wave in Seattle. My roommate told me that, according to the Hopi Indians, the Purification is coming and that this is just the start. Well, I guess that’s just one more reason to get a move on….
Why so critical?
Actually I’m not feeling critical at all. It’s reality. I have been jumping through hoops and doing the hustle for a long time. It doesn’t work. And I don’t believe that it’s truly set up to work. I need to go beyond that, to set a new paradigm for myself. I feel that I have to know reality in order to know how to respond to it. I have heard that a good, decisive, and beautifully executed “breaking of the rules” can take you to places beyond known reality. That’s where I want to go.