Snark

A Thank You to Western Medicine

Dear Western Medicine,

I am writing to you in order to express my tremendous gratitude for your existence in my life.  You have been so much a part of me since the day I was born that I’m not sure what I would do without you.

You have such a high standard of education for all who are called to be practitioners.  It’s hard I know to learn how to gather symptoms and to categorize them so that you know what pharmaceutical to prescribe in order to maintain the problem.  And maintaining the problem is the main thing isn’t it?  After all, if everyone were cured then you’d be out of a job and it’s just not American to let that happen, is it? I am proud to serve my country in this way and allow myself to be put on multiple drugs and therapies.

And Alternative Medicine?  Posh! What do they know?  They have completely different goals than you do and if they win, if people start using them more than Western Medicine?  Well, then our economy would just collapse.  As much as we would all love to be cured, we also have to think about our society and what’s best for it.  The needs of the many out way the needs of the few, or the one…  I admire your fortitude in the battle against Alternative Medicine.  We need to wipe that out!

I know that pharmaceuticals are not the only way you help us.  Sometime just ignoring the problem can help.  I remember going to the emergency room after I almost ran off the road due to what felt like a sharp object being jammed into my brain.   At the emergency room, you put me in a room and then went off to your other duties.  I lay there for almost two hours and finally the pain started going away.  I got up and went out of the room to see what was going on and lo and behold, there was no one there!  I was the only patient in the emergency room!  You are so good to get your emergencies taken care of quickly!  I found all the doctors sitting around a TV set laughing.  Realizing that my pain had gone away, I checked myself out and left.  You knew, didn’t you, that all I needed was to rest and you gave me that.  I found out later that it was my first migraine but you knew I’d figure it out on my own, didn’t you?  Yes, you are so talented and so wonderfully competent that you know the exact time to ignore a patient so they can heal on their own.  I was grateful to pay the bill that came in the mail.

And finally I would like to thank you for being so honest with me during my time of grief.  Thank you for taking the time to sit down with me to explain the economics of Western Medicine.  I appreciate you explaining to me the reasons why you were going to allow my mother to die.  I fully understand.  Western Medicine is a business and if someone doesn’t have insurance then they don’t get to be treated.  I know the difficulty, after all I wouldn’t work if I didn’t get paid.  I was only 19 and my brothers 14 and 15 when you opened our eyes to the reality of Western Medicine, but we have never forgotten that conversation.  It will always be with us.  I know that my grandparents gladly paid the bill you sent them for allowing such a wondrous event of my mother’s death to occur.

I have been so privileged to witness and learn so many awesome things from you.  And you are growing so quickly!  I’m so excited to see the other products and services that you come up with.  I’ll be watching your progress with great interest.  Keep up the good work!

With great thanks and gratitude,

-Karin