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End of Days or… what do you mean it’s due now?

Sometimes I wonder who I choose to live this life at the End of Days. Am I stupid or something? I don’t even know if it’s the End of Days. I don’t know if it’s Solstice 2012 or Oct 28, 2011. I don’t know if any of it is true. I feel something in my bones though. I’ve been “working on myself” for a long time and now it feels like I have a deadline. A deadline that I didn’t agree to!

WHO IS THE PROJECT MANAGER OF THIS PROJECT!

Once upon a time, I was a woman who was fairly isolated. I had just a few friends and I spent most of my time working on my projects. Now, I know way too many people, my Goddess I do! I now know psychics, and channellers, and energy medicine workers, and inspirational speakers, healers, creators, thinkers and stinkers. There is a lot of information blasting at my brain. Wap! There goes another brain cell.

There’s one part of me that says “Hey! It’s the End of Days! Just frigging relax and hang on for the ride!” Like it’s some sort of rollercoaster set up in pitch black warehouse and we don’t even know if it’s finished yet. I saw Speed, these guys don’t always get the project done on time! Maybe this method is good for some people, but I am a total CONTROL FREAK. I like to know what is going on so I can prepare. Maybe I’m a little too German.

At the moment I have no idea how to prepare. Do I go to Safeway and stock up on chili, canned fruit, water and chocolate? Do attempt to sit quietly with OM in my mind? Be one with the force oh great and wondrous Karin! Do I take every workshop ever imagined to make sure that I am a complete and healthy soul?

And what’s with this deadline crap anyway. Aren’t we supposed to focus on the journey and not the destination? The minute we start thinking “deadline” quality goes right out the window.

It’s no wonder I get anxious and can’t sleep. I am a supremely, massively, beautifully, flawed woman. I really don’t think there’s enough time to fix me, to get me ready for whatever the hell may or may not be coming.

Crap…it’s all bullshit. I’m tired of the whole thing. I have my own goals you know. You want to know what they are?

1. Be relaxed and at ease.
2. Be able to handle my newly massive network of friends and acquaintances with grace and skill.
3. Date, find a partner, or pretty much anything that feels right around that area.
4. Find my passion and know it in my heart.

End of Days? You know that with every ending, there is a new beginning. I’ve decided to prepare, yes, but prepare for the beginning. And yes, I’ll try to relax and hold on for the ride. And, okay, I’ll also go get the chili.

All the rest of the crap? I smite thee!

(smite!) (smite!) (backhand) !$&^!@?

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